Here are some of the verses that Vyāsa uses to describe the circumstances of his birth in the Mahābhārata (आदिपर्व, अध्याय ०५७).
तीर्थयात्रां परिक्रामन्नपश्यद्वै पराशरः ।। ०५६ ।।
विद्वांस्तां वासवीं कन्यां कार्यवान्मुनिपुंगवः ।। ०५७ ।।
साब्रबीत्पश्य भगवन्पारावारे ऋषीन्स्थितान् ।
आवयोर्दृश्यतोरेभिः कथं नु स्यात्समागमः ।। ०५८ ।।
एवं तयोक्तो भगवान्नीहारमसृजत्प्रभुः ।
येन देशः स सर्वस्तु तमोभूत इवाभवत् ।। ०५९ ।।
एवमुक्तवतीं तां तु प्रीतिमानृषिसत्तमः ।
उवाच मत्प्रियं कृत्या कन्यैव त्वं भविष्यसि ।। ०६३ ।।
एवमुक्ता वरं वव्रे गात्रसौगन्ध्यमुत्तमम् ।
स चास्यै भगवान्प्रादान्मनसः कांक्षितं प्रभुः ।। ०६५ ।।
इति सत्यवती हृष्टा लब्ध्वा वरमनुत्तमम् ।
पराशरेण संयुक्ता सद्यो गर्भं सुषाव सा ।। ०६९ ।।
जज्ञे च यमुनाद्वीपे पाराशर्यः स वीर्यवान् ।। ०६९ ।।
While the events described are all relevant, their sequencing didn't really happen as Vyāsa described them. The truth of the matter, as is often the case, is rarely pure and never simple. Here's the real story. Warning: spoilers!
His passion sated, and his seed implanted in her womb, the sage Parāśara sat back and reflected on the princess Satyavatī as she rested by his side. While she was certainly a paragon of ebony feminine pulchritude, her piscine BO was overpowering to say the least. In fact, he had blanched and had had to close his eyes while joining with her. And there were the dual promises he had made in order to seduce her: to rid her of her fishy smell, and to have her remain a virgin after sleeping with him. Women! It was going to be tricky to keep his word, but he had a plan. He pulled out his intergalactic cellphone from inside his matted hair and put in a call. After a short while, he heard a familiar whooshing sound and a blue police box materialized next to them. The fog surrounding them shielded the TARDIS from being observed by the sages across the river.
The door opened and the Doctor stepped out. He looked irritable. "What is it this time, Parāśara?", he asked. Then he whipped out a handkerchief and put it up to his nose. "Good lord, what is that stench? Have you stopped bathing or something?"
Parāśara explained the situation. By now, Satyavatī has awoken and was eyeing the TARDIS with a lot of suspicion and a hint of trepidation.
"A fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Parāśara," observed the Doctor. "Well, what's done is done, so let's get the two of you in the TARDIS and spend the next nine months traveling through time and space. As you know, people assume that time is a strict progress of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly ... time-y wimey ... stuff."
"Quite," interjected Parāśara, desperate to get a word in edgewise and stop the flow of this deep metaphysical stuff that he didn't fully comprehend. "Let's get going, if we may."
The Doctor disappeared into the TARDIS. Parāśara looked at Satyavatī. "Let's go in there, princess," he said.
She looked at him suspiciously. "Into that little box? With another strange man inside? What further mischief do you have in mind?"
Somehow, he cajoled her into entering the TARDIS. Her jaw dropped as she entered. "How is this possible?" she exclaimed. "It's bigger on the inside than on the outside."
The Doctor looked bored. "Yes, yes, they all say that." He looked at River Song, who was standing at the TARDIS controls. "My dear," he said, "allow me to introduce Satyavatī and Parāśara. They will be traveling with us for the next nine months, until she delivers her child."
River looked at the Doctor with a hint of annoyance and wrinkled her nose. "Well, I just hope you have a nice airtight wing in this TARDIS where they can stay," she said. "And, by the way, do you have any air freshener? The fish odor is just killing me."
The months passed. Satyavatī showed unmistakable signs of her pregnancy, and then one day, after many hair-raising adventures that are not pertinent to our storyline, delivered a healthy baby boy, dark-skinned like his mother. Now it was time to pull off the tricky part of the maneuver: ridding Satyavatī of her body odor and restoring her to virginity. River and the Doctor made several calculations. They both looked uncharacteristically grim.
"Too many variables, Doctor. Remember what happened to the Brigadier on that spaceliner in that incident with Mawdryn and his undead crew?"
"I know, River - but we have to give it a try. Let's reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and hope that the Blinovich Limitation Effect does its job. That seems to be our best option."
"Well, if you say so, my love."
"I do, my dear. Action stations, everyone!"
The TARDIS materialized once again on the island on the Yamunā under cover of fog, and the Doctor activated the external scanners. They could see Parāśara and Satyavatī outside engaged in earnest conversation, as she sought to extract the twins boons of continued virginity and fragrant body odor in return for acceding to his carnal desires.
"Well, the spatial and temporal coordinates are good," remarked River. "Satyavatī, time for you to go out there and complete your transformation."
Satyavatī looked worried. "Will this work, Doctor? Or will I be thrown way back into the past, as you told me in the tales of the Weeping Angels."
"Brave heart, Satyavatī," replied the Doctor with his best poker face.
Parāśara bade Satyavatī farewell. "Don't worry, princess," he said. "I will take good care of our son."
Satyavatī took a deep breath and stepped out of the TARDIS. The couple in front of her turned round to face her. The younger Satyavatī stared in astonishment at her older counterpart. "Who are you?" she said. "Are you a human, or a rākśasī in human form?" For some reason, Parāśara seemed unsurprised and quickly stepped out of the way.
The older Satyavatī stretched out her arm and approached her doppelgänger. "Don't be afraid," she said. "No harm will come to you." But her younger version looked terrified and backed away from her, until she backed into a tree and couldn't go further. "Stay away from me," she shrieked in fear.
Calmly, the older Satyavatī placed her hand on the other's shoulder. She disappeared in a flash of light, and her younger version sank to the ground, apparently in a deep coma.
The Doctor looked at a display on the TARDIS console and smiled. "Well, according to these readings, she is just asleep, she is still a virgin, and she is emitting a very high concentration of fragant pheromones. They should be wafting for at least a yojana around her. That was always the dicey part; I'm glad it turned out well."
He turned round to face the sage. "Well, Parāśara," he said, "time for you and Kṛṣṇa to get going."
"Here," added River, "take this pair of cell phones. Leave one next to Satyavatī along with this note. Give the other one to Kṛṣṇa when he reaches adulthood. That way, she can call him whenever she needs him. Promise me that when that happens, he will drop everything and hurry to her side as quickly as possible."
Parāśara was overwhelmed. "I will," he said. "Thank you both again for your help."
"You're quite welcome," replied the Doctor and River Song. And the TARDIS dematerialized with its familiar wheezing sound.
